We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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