she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
