Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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