We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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