Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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