What a fucking waste of an outfit
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
