if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
