What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have post one night stand depression
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