the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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