the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
