he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
