Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
