Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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