Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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