Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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