you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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