I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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