Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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