He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
