farters have to be the big spoon...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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