You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
