i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ugly people sure do ruin things
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
