I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
