dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
