sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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