apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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