i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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