Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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