about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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