no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
