We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
