If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
