Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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