I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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