she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
