it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
