Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
