I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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