Life is so much better after having sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
