I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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