...so i touched it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
