The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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