Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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