I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
