Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
