And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
