im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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