Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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