Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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