carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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