i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
