the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
