Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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