If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
