I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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