wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
