i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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