Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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